Sitting here, waiting to start down my long, dusty road

My dad, who is a recent fan of "Mavis-Bacon: learn to type," has my blog on his favorites list. So I must write something even though I am still here in Alaska, counting down the days until I fly away. But during the brief daylight hours, when I am outside in my five layers, it's hard not to pause and be amazed at the beauty of where I live. This photo is a drive across town from my house. And that mountain -it is called "sleeping lady," because in Alaska it is a small rounded hill, a mountain that yawned and laid down to rest.

Recently an acquaintance asked me if I had already been to Africa and come back. Well, yes, over and over in my head... but no, not literally. "Two YEARS," I say, "not two weeks." And already, before I have gone, that sounds like not long enough, although the only other thing I have done for that long is to keep going back to school.

The lovely lady who co-leads my home group prayed for me and said, "I see you on a long road." I can see me on a long road too. It is narrow, and dusty, and I don't know where it goes. But around every corner there are new faces to meet, skipping children who will appear beside me and peer at my queer pale skin. And in the heat of the day there is the promise of a cool evening, or a clear stream over the next rise. And in the dark of night, a glow on the horizon that will bring a glorious dawn. This is our promise. In Isaiah God describes the "perfect fast," how he desires mercy from us, not sacrifice:

"...and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." (Isaiah 58:10-11)

I saw Mercy Ships new mission statement today (I think -someone said it anyway) -"to provide a compassionate response to a world that has lost hope." That's what it means to satisfy the needs of the oppressed -to bring hope to those who have none. To share Mercy. And believe me -it is not a sacrifice for me to start down this long road. Don't tell those who are giving me their money in honor of my self-sacrifice, but between you and me -I have been sitting beside this dirt road for so long peering impatiently, with dusty eyelashes, into the horizon that the most sacrificial thing I could do would be to keep sitting here.